Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Swag-itude

You might be a redneck if...

CARBONDALE - The arrest of a suspicious driver and his passenger led police to a trove of stolen property last Friday and in the process, police say, "resolved" the investigation of 43 auto burglaries committed throughout Carbondale.
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...police recovered a haul of stolen property large enough to more than cover the tops of two full-length folding tables. Stereo decks, sub-woofers, belt buckles, CDs, laptop computers, textbooks and hunting gear were just a few of the items police recovered.

Always keep your valuable waist-ware in a secure place.