Traditional Family Values

teh
Can’t get much more traditional than this.

DENVER, Colorado (AP) -- A 15-year-old girl can enter into a common-law marriage
in Colorado, a state appeals court ruled Thursday. Younger girls and boys may also be able to marry.

While the three-judge panel stopped short of setting a specific minimum age for such marriages, it said they could be legal for girls at 12 and boys at 14 under English common law, which Colorado recognizes.

[snip]

Colorado is one of 10 states, plus the District of Columbia, that recognize common-law marriage, which is based on English law dating back hundreds of years.

The other common laws states are listed here (they’re mostly in the West and South).

I don’t know much about common law marriages but I do know the nature of marriage is constantly changing. For example it wasn’t unusual or even illegal for girls 13-years-old girls to be married in many places in the country. More recently, interracial marriages were still against the law in many places.

My point: those who claim marriage has been this static institution since the dawn of man are full of it. By “it” I mean historical ignorance.

Carbondale Under Siege From Wildlife Again

teh
Animals continue to terrorize Carbondale and the locals are fighting back -hard. Now that the killer deer have been (for now) neutralized, a new offensive has been launched against emus. Yes, emus. You know those large flightless birds that look like ostriches.



Details from The Southern Illinoisian:

CARBONDALE - When an emu in Carbondale failed to surrender to police Wednesday, officers were given no choice but to put the large bird down.

Sgt. Mike Osifcin said the Carbondale Police Department got its first emu call at 11:19 a.m. The bird was near the intersection of Charles and New Era roads.

At 12:09 p.m., another call came. This time, the mobile emu was on Oakland Street, near the cemetery.

At 12:22 p.m., it was at 803 N. Allyn Street. The bird was pecking on a window of a residence. The owner was not amused.

Not amused indeed. Damn emus! Why don’ they go back to where they came from. Sure they come here to do work American birds won't but look how they act. Time to build a fence at the border with Australia!

Anyway…

Osifcin said several animal control agencies and veterinarian offices were contacted in an effort to locate the emu's owner. No one seemed to know where the bird had come from or where it belonged.

One thing was clear, however. According to all animal experts contacted, emus can be dangerous. Vicious, in fact.

Yes, never fuck with an emu if you know what’s good for you. Especially if its drunk.

Their kick and sharp toenails, Osifcin was told, can cause serious damage to anyone who gets too close to a frightened or angry bird. There is really no way to capture the bird, he was told. It would be necessary to destroy it.

"They are bigger and stronger than you think," he said.

Especially if it’s drunk.

Osifcin said he shot the bird five times with a shotgun from about 12 feet away.

"It didn't phase him," he said.

Another officer was called to the scene, armed with a rifle. Three rifle shots later, the bird was down.

Never fuck with a cop with a rifle. Especially if he’s drunk.

Osifcin said a considerable audience assembled from the neighborhood and nearby
construction crew. The emu kept running up and down a fence line on the Allyn Street property. Clearly, Osifcin said, the bird was familiar with a fence.

Insidious bird! Learned in the ways of…fences!

"I think he's going to be buried somewhere," he said, noting the city street crew removed the dead bird from the residential neighborhood.

Osifcin said there have not been reports of any damage caused by the bird. He said this is the first emu complaint he is aware of in recent city history.

Sure, in recent history but in the pioneer days emus roamed the streets of Carbondale at will, raping, stealing and spitting at terrified townsfolk. Especially when they were drunk.

No word on if the big bird will be buried in the cities old Emu Cemetery.

The Funny Truth

teh
From The Daily Show’s Rob Corddry on President Bush’s quickie visit to Iraq this week:

Just his being there for five hours makes a statement. It told the Iraqi people: "I'm with you. I stand behind you. And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm getting the fuck out of here."

Last night Jon Stewart also chimed in on the visit, commenting something like, “Saying you’ve been to Iraq after visiting only the Green Zone is like going to Olive Garden and saying you were in Italy.”

Where Have All the Pictures Gone?

teh
Open letter to JeromeProphet:

Hey Dude,

Where’d the pictures go? I haven’t seen any original photography on your blog since early May. Good commentary but no pics. What gives?

I ask because after reading this article in the SJ-R about Union Square Park nearing completion, I wanted to rush over to your site to see the latest photos. It was then I realized you’ve been blogging sans photos of late. Why?

Just wondering.

Sincerely,
Dave
The Eleventh Hour

Does this violate some rule of blogging ethics to ask this on my blog and not his?

Air Rendezvous on the Airwaves

teh
I see the Air Rendezvous folks have launched an advertising campaign essentially reminding us that the air show is still way cool even if the Blue Angels aren’t here. Good, I couldn’t agree more. There’s lots of fun to be had even without a huge headline act. The ads don’t mention the dodgeball however.

Gas Welfare

teh
I couldn’t believe it the first time I saw the GM commercials on TV offering to subsidize gas prices if only you buy their gas guzzling cars. Ezra Klein puts it this way:

Right now, remember, GM is offering a year of unlimited gasoline at $1.99 a gallon for buyers of certain cars, trucks, and SUVs. Good plan? Sure is -- it's unlikely to cost more than a $1,000 per customer, but will have far more resonance than a similarly hefty rebate. That said, it's a treatment of symptoms so GM can avoid a cure; pay for the consumer's gasoline so they'll buy your inefficient autos. A better strategy might include more fuel efficient cars, but that's apparently out of the question.

In terms of the public good, this is absolutely one of the worst ideas to come along in a long time. Gas prices too high? Don’t improve fuel efficiency that might help bring those prices back down, just subsidize the high prices. What a crock.

But does anyone care? I think people do. I have no idea how this marketing campaign is working but I would think most people with a conscience see through this ploy? I know the concept has really turned me off to GM. This corporate crassness should not be rewarded. Don’t buy their cars, GM obviously doesn’t give a damn about anything other than short-term financial gain.

Flag

teh
I almost forgot...

It's Flag Day

Did you know other countries have Flag Days? It's true. Denmark's is tomorrow.

Ring Tone-Deaf

teh
Perhaps you’ve seen the stories about the new cell phone ring tones the kds are all getting. You know, the one that allegedly only teenagers can hear. The insidious ring tone of youth is supposedly being used by students to avoid detection by teachers who are way to old to hear the stundents' cell phone ring.

Well I’m here to brag that I CAN hear it and I haven’t been a teenager for decades.

Here is a link to the ring tone. Give it a try. Hear it and you’re young; don’t hear it and you're so fucking old!

Oil Alternatives

teh
No, not petroleum –cooking oil. Or, more precisely, fast food cooking grease. Here’s yet another fast food place saying an alternative to the high fat junk they cook their food in is just around the corner.

This time it’s KFC:

LOUISVILLE, Kentucky (AP) -- A doctor and a consumer group have sued KFC in an effort to stop the chicken chain from cooking with high-fat partially hydrogenated oil.

[snip]

KFC spokeswoman Laurie Schalow called the lawsuit frivolous and said the company will fight it in court. Schalow said KFC is looking at using other types of oil for cooking, but it is committed to maintaining "KFC's unique taste and flavor."

Yeah, sure it’s looking. Looking real hard, I’m sure.

Once again, the main culprit is trans fats. I still say get rid of them.

Give That Man a Raise!

teh
Can you think of anyone less deserving of a pay raise than Dick Cheney? I can’t. But lookee here:

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Despite record low approval ratings, House lawmakers Tuesday embraced a $3,300 pay raise that will increase their salaries to $168,500.

[snip]

The pay raise would also apply to the vice president -- who is president of the Senate -- congressional leaders and Supreme Court justices.

This year, Vice President Cheney, House Speaker Dennis Hastert and Chief Justice John Roberts receive $212,100.

The man should be fired not given a raise. Thank God the “mastermind” behind the Iraq debacle will be out of our lives forever in January 2009, if not sooner. (I say sooner because I’m wondering if Patrick Fitzgerald has yet landed his biggest fish in the Plame investigation. Rove got away but will Cheney?)

I have no problem giving lawmakers, judges and other government officials regular pay increases but some people need to be denied as a public rebuke even if, like Cheney, they don’t need the money in the first place.

Gas Math

teh
OK, so they spilled 85,000 gallons of gasoline in Macon County (the SJ-R is reporting that figure, up from the earlier estimate of 72,000). So that means at $3.00/gal., which is about the price at lunch today at my neighborhood gas station, the spill cost $255,000.00 retail. And that doesn’t include the cost of cleanup. Wow.

The Bear Facts

teh
Liberal polar bears are refusing to deny global warming.

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) -- Polar bears in the southern Beaufort Sea may be turning to cannibalism because longer seasons without ice keep them from getting to their natural food, a new study by American and Canadian scientists has found.

But they sure are cute in those Coke commercials.

Supplemental Beer Blogging: Prostate Edition

teh
Man, there’s been a lot of beer news lately. I first heard the latest on WUIS this morning: Beer can help prevent prostate cancer –if you drink yourself to death.

CORVALLIS, Ore. - A chief ingredient in beer shows potent promise in preventing prostate cancer and prostate enlargement, according to a new study by Oregon State University researchers.

The research, published in a recent issue of Cancer Letters, shows that xanthohumol, a compound found in hops, inhibits NF-kappaB protein in cells along the surface of the prostate gland, said Emily Ho, assistant professor of nutrition and exercise sciences in OSU's College of Health and Human Sciences and a researcher with OSU's Linus Pauling Institute.

The protein acts like a signal switch that turns on a variety of animal and human malignancies, including prostate cancer.

OK, but here’s the bad news (or good news if REALLY like beer):

Xanthohumol is present in such small amounts that a person would have to drink more than 17 beers to consume the same amount found effective in the study…

That’s 17 beers per day. That might be bit over some folk’s limit. On the other hand, it may account for the low rate of prostate cancer among college students.

Update: Maybe if you drink some coffee with those 17 beers.

Our Storm Story

teh
The Liberal Weather Channel is going to be featuring Springfield’s March 12 tornados in an upcoming edition of their series Storm Stories. That according to this article in the SJ-R. The half hour episode of the regular series will air on July 16 at 7:30 pm.

The show will feature video shot by a Springfield resident who grabbed his video camera during the storm rather than seek shelter. Must we encourage this behavior? Oh well, as long as it’s in the name of our entertainment. There is no higher calling.

Springfield Blogoshpere: Alive & Well

teh
I’ve finally gotten around to updating my blog roll. I’ve added three great local blogs; two of them fairly new while the other has been around for a while even if I didn’t know it.

Just two Guys and Unspelled I’ve mentioned before and, while relatively new to the way-kewl Springfield blogging scene, are both lots of fun.

I’m ThirtyWHAT? has been around longer than my blog but somehow completely missed my attention. And that’s too bad because Thirtywhat has a really, really well written blog.

Check out all three.

Supplemental Beer Blogging: T-Shirt Wisdom Edition

teh
From Eric Zorn’s blog:

Beauty is in the eyes of the beer holder. ...slogan on a T-shirt seen on a guy on the sidewalk near Irving Park Road and Keeler Avenue Saturday.

The Classics Never Get Old

teh
On the occasion of Tom DeLay (finally) leaving the House of Representatives last week, Kevin Drum passes along one of DeLay’s classic lines. Commenting on the Columbine shootings in 1999, DeLay said:

Guns have little or nothing to do with juvenile violence. The causes of youth violence are working parents who put their kids into daycare, the teaching of evolution in the schools, and working mothers who take birth control pills.

Oh, the modern Republican Party!

The Hitler Channel

teh
When former presidential candidate Al Gore recently released his film about global warming, An Inconvenient Truth, it was universally derided by the conservative media. That’s no surprise but the level of vitriol was. On more than one occasion Gore has been compared to Hitler for making the movie. The childish conservative thinking went something like, Gore is lying – Hitler told lies – Gore = Hitler. Or something.

Of course Gore isn’t lying and the right wing in this country continues to ignore science ands facts and is in complete denial about global warming.

Aside from the fact that global warming is considered very real by nearly every scientist not on Big Oil’s payroll, conservatives continue to hold their ears and scream La-La-La-La-La. Or Hitler-Hitler-Hitler, in some cases.

Anyway, adding to the current the wingnuts continue to furiously paddle against is none other than The Weather Channel. Yes, The Weather Channel is officially taking a stand and is opening recognizing global warming as a problem; a problem made worse by the actions of man.

Now this will surely send Wingnutia into hysterics. Expect boycotts of TWC, denunciations of those liberal meteorologists and calls for retractions from The Hitler Channel. (TWC is lying – Hitler told lies – TWC =Hitler)

Better yet, expect a conservative weather channel to be launched by Rupert Murdoch or someone of his ilk and wealth. Perhaps the Fox Weather Channel. FWC could then:

Ignore global warming

Discontinue forecasts for the liberal elite coasts and only predict the weather for the “Heartland”

Identify areas of the world where the weather is now good enough to invade militarily

Do specials on how Iraqi’s are much happier with their weather now that they have been liberated

Issue warnings for places where the weather is conducive to having dirty hippie liberals burn the flag

Warn rich residents of areas experiencing extreme weather to take shelter lest they get killed and their estates be subjected to a “death tax”

Have Pat Robertson predict what sinful communities will be hit by natural disasters due to their evil ways

The Fox Weather Channel: I wonder what their slogan will be, perhaps Fair and Mild?

Right Place, Right Time

teh
It would be truly interesting if, in fact, it was a plane from Springfield’s 183rd Fighter Wing that dropped the bombs that killed terrorist Abu Musab al-Zarqawi in Iraq this week. But interesting is about it.

I don’t think this tells us anything special about the 183rd as this State Journal-Register article seems to suggest. Particularly puzzling is this paragraph from the story:

And if the 183rd killed al-Zarqawi, that also would buttress arguments from supporters of the unit who believe the wing was unfairly targeted by last year’s Air Force base realignment process. That process resulted in a decision to move the 183rd’s jets out of Springfield.

Really? How so? I don’t get the connection. So, if the 183rd had taken out Zarqawi this time last year, they would not have been “realigned” and slated to be moved out of Springfield? That doesn’t seem likely.

Hey, there’s no one more pissed off about the 183rd being moved out of Springfield than I. Anyone who has read this blog for any length of time knows that. But I have no reason to believe the realignment was because the 183rd wasn’t tough enough on terror or good enough in combat.

Look, the 183rd is as good as most Air Force and other Air National Guard units. The pilots are top-notch and they know how to use their equipment.

That said, the mission to kill Zarqawi was not a particularly tough or unusual one. Its’ not like the pilot, whoever he is, had to fight his way through a hail of missile and anti-aircraft fire. No, he was given an undefended target and hit it with the skill that would be expected of any F-16 pilot. Nor did the pilot go hunting for Zarqawi and, using his keen sight and hunting skills, find him and blast him on the fly. No, we knew where he was and our guy flew there and dropped his laser and satellite guided bombs.

Again, I’m not saying what the F-16 pilot did was no big deal or that it didn't take skill, just that it was, in the scheme of things, rather routine and I’m not sure how this “would buttress arguments from supporters of the unit who believe the wing was unfairly targeted by last year’s Air Force base realignment process”. The writer of the SJ-R article doesn’t bother to explain that.

Who Put the Funk in Funk's Grove?

teh
So, the Funk’s Grove rest area off of I-55 between Springfield and Bloomington has been designated the best rest area in the state.

Well, it is nice but the family and I laugh every time we pass it. You see, on a trip north while Mrs. TEH was pregnant with my son a few years ago, we had to make an emergency stop at the Funk’s Grove rest area. Morning sickness had gotten the better of her and she wound up loudly puking in the ladies room. She could be heard throughout the facility. Some say you can still hear the echoes of that episode reverberating off the walls.

Asked to comment today on the awarding of the rest stop’s new best-of status, Mrs. TEH would only say, “It wasn’t the best of anything for the people there that day”.

Two Guys and a Blog

teh
Check out a new entry in the Springfield Blogosphere: Just Two Guys. John and Micah have lots of bloggity goodness posted already so go see. And since they gave me a nice review today, it’s the least I can do (and I’m always looking to do the least I can) to give them a plug. As always, I’m behind on updating the blog roll but Just Two Guys will be up there soon.

Small Town

teh
Ha, ha. Springpatch.

The GOP Greatest Hits

teh
Silly me. I thought the Republicans in Congress were going to run through their perennial losing pet pandering legislation all in one week or so. That would include gay marriage, flag burning and elimination of the estate tax. And I was almost right. Almost because I forgot one other favorite that they're also getting to this week: cutting funding for public broadcasting!

WASHINGTON -- House Republicans yesterday revived their efforts to slash funding for public broadcasting, as a key committee approved a $115 million reduction in the budget for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting that could force the elimination of some popular PBS and NPR programs.

Then get a load of this stinking pile of GOP crap.

``We've got to keep our priorities straight," said Representative Ralph Regula, an Ohio Republican who is chairman of the appropriations panel that approved the cut. `` You're going to choose between giving a little more money to handicapped children versus providing appropriations for public broadcasting."

Mr. Regula, do you think we’re idiots? You guys keep cutting taxes for the rich and wasting HUNDREDS OF BILLIONS of dollars on swell adventures like Iraq and then come whining that there isn’t enough money (a miniscule amount in Federal budget terms) to fund public broadcasting? Look, you can make an argument that government shouldn’t fund any media operation (I don’t buy it but you can make the argument) but to say that it shouldn’t be funded because it’s too expensive is just bullshit.

Why does anyone vote for these guys? They've run the country into the ground and are the most petty, self-centered, greedy, anti-intellectual morons to ever inhabit the halls of power in Washington.

Get Your Illinois Gear

teh
The State of Illinois is promoting tourism here by, among other things, marketing Illinois “stuff” featuring Illinois landmarks and icons. Once again, our friends at Cafepress are doing the actual selling. One set of promotional items features the Illinois State Fair Butter Cow.

You can get Butter Cow mugs, shirts, posters, tote bags, bibs and more.

Other Illinois merchandise lines include pictures of the Collinsville Catsup Bottle, the Morton Pumpkin Fest, Cave-in-Rock and a number of others.

I’m not sure this stuff is going to be wildly popular but I might take a Butter Cow t-shirt.

Friday Beer Blogging: Just The Facts Edition

teh
Beer facts! Useless beer facts courtesy of The Opinionated beer Page.

The first beer cans were produced in 1935.

12 oz of a typical American pale lager actually has fewer calories than 2 percent milk or apple juice.

On October 17 of 1814, a rupture in a brewery tank containing 3,500 barrels of beer caused a flood of fatal proportions in the London parish of St. Giles. The wave of beer swept victims off their feet, dashed them against walls, and buried them under debris. Two houses were demolished in the sea of beer suddenly loosed upon town, and nine people lost their lives in the flood of suds.

An 18-year study by the National Institute on Aging found that 50-plus men who consumed a drink a day during middle age scored significantly better on cognitive tests later in life than did non-drinkers.

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer, and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the "honey month", or what we know today as the "honeymoon".

According to a diary entry from a passenger on the Mayflower, the pilgrims made their landing at Plymouth Rock, rather than continue to their destination in Virginia, due to lack of beer.

A beer is NOT just a beer. All told, there are 27 different styles of beer, with a further breakdown of 49 substyles.

Studying the experimentally induced intoxicated behavior of ants in 1888, naturalist John Lubbock noticed that the insects that had too much to drink were picked up by nest mates and carried home. Conversely, drunken strangers were summarily tossed in a ditch.

Beck's in not only Germany's top export beer, it also accounts for 85% of all German beer exports to the United States.

Know your beer facts.

Transfattiness

teh
I’ve been seeing some version of this story (not necessarily involving Wendy’s) for years now and I really wish it would just come true someday.

COLUMBUS, Ohio - Wendy's International Inc. said Thursday it will begin frying french fries and breaded chicken items with non-hydrogenated oil, continuing a shift to offer healthier menu choices.

The country's third-largest burger chain said the blend of corn and soy oil has zero grams of artery-clogging trans fat per serving and will cut trans fat in those menu items by 95 percent. Wendy's will begin using the oil in its 6,300 restaurants in the U.S. and Canada in August.

August. OK, we’ll see.

I’ve long thought the FDA or some regulatory agency should just ban trans fats. I don’t know how practical that is; I’m sure it would have to be phased out over a long period of time. But really, aren’t there good alternatives to trans fats? And nothing good comes from ingesting the crap. Let’s just do away with it –get it out of the food supply- and move on.

It's Miller Time

teh
Capitol Fax Blog does some righteous beer blogging. C’mon Rich, leave something for the rest of us to do.

Deer Area 51

teh
This seems a little suspicious...

CARBONDALE - The deer Southern Illinois University Carbondale officials killed after the latest attack Monday night is being kept in cold storage, waiting analysis tests, a campus wildlife scientist says.

Eric Hellgren, director of the SIUC Cooperative Wildlife Research Laboratory, said the university is waiting for permission from the Illinois Department of Natural Resources to have the animal checked out in the campus' diagnostic lab. Hellgren said researchers weren't looking for anything particular; they just wanted to take some basic samples.

Oh sure, nothing to see here, just move along. Time to call in Molder and Scully?

Supplemental Beer Blogging: Popularity Edition

teh
Gad! College kids like their iPods more than beer. Silly kids.

SAN JOSE, California (AP) -- College life is not just about drinking beer.

In a rare instance, Apple Computer Inc.'s iconic iPod music player surpassed beer drinking as the most "in" thing among undergraduate college students, according to the latest biannual market research study by Ridgewood, New Jersey-based Student Monitor.

[snip]

In the year-ago study, only 59 percent of students named the iPod as "in," putting
the gadget well below alcohol-related activities.

This year, drinking beer and Facebook.com, a social networking Web site, were tied for second most popular, with 71 percent of the students identifying them as "in."

The only other time beer was temporarily dethroned in the 18 years of the survey was in 1997 -- by the Internet, said Eric Weil, a managing partner at Student Monitor.

Think how popular my Beer Blogging would be with college kids if only this market research took it into account. I mean, it combines beer with the internet! I just know I’d be the most “in” thing on campus if only given the chance.

Hey Hey, My My

teh
There may be no statistical significance to this, but doesn’t it seem like a lot of rock musicians aren’t making it out of their 50s? Just this week, Billy Preston died at 59 and the last Grateful Dead keyboard player passed away at 51. In recent years we’ve lost George Harrison, Joe Strummer, three of Ramones, and John Entwistle. And those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

Lifestyle can play a part, sure. Harrison smoked and got cancer; Entwistle had cocaine in his system when he was found dead of a heart attack. Still, it seems rockers die young even when they’re, well, not so young anymore.

The Deer Hunter

teh
The SIU killer deer, at least one of them, has met her match:

CARBONDALE - Southern Illinois University Carbondale police and wildlife officials destroyed a deer Tuesday morning, after a campus police officer shot it Monday night trying to protect a pedestrian from attack.

Police report around 7 p.m. Monday an officer on patrol near the campus lake on Douglas Drive shot a female deer with his handgun, as the animal charged him, injuring his forearm. The officer came between a jogger and the deer, which officials reported was crossing the street and going after the jogger. As the officer told the pedestrian to back away, the deer attacked him, leading him to fire his weapon. The deer was wounded and ran back into the woods.

After consulting with university and state wildlife officials, police found the animal
early Tuesday morning and destroyed it.

Police say they later discovered the gun they thought the deer was carrying was really a water pistol.

And the story may not be over:

…SIUC Cooperative Wildlife Research Laboratory Director Eric Hellgren said killing the deer may solve the problem.

"If it is one deer that has been doing all this, that would mean the problem is gone," he said. "If it's multiple deer, we might continue to see these kinds of incidents."

Stay tuned. There may be more deer "sleeper cells".

Support The Troops!

teh
Why do I not find this hard to believe?

When the Senate took $1.9 billion out of the war supplemental to fund border security last month, $1.6 billion came out of funds to replace equipment destroyed or worn out from four years of combat in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The money was diverted at the behest of the White House in a last-minute bid to address growing political unrest about illegal immigration. The Office of Management and Budget championed the change without input from the Army or the Marine Corps whose budgets were sliced, a Pentagon budget official told United Press International last week.

The proverbial robbing of Peter to pay Paul. Time to cut taxes for the rich once again!

Who's going to clean up all the messes this administration is making? The poor sap who wins in 2008 I suppose. Maybe a new (read: Democratic) Congress in 2006 can get things started, or at least stop the bleeding (literally and figuratively).

Legend Lost

teh
Ah crap, another one’s gone.

PHOENIX, Arizona (AP) -- Billy Preston, the exuberant keyboardist who landed dream gigs with the Beatles and the Rolling Stones and enjoyed his own series of hit singles, including "Outta Space" and "Nothing From Nothing," died Tuesday at 59.

I guess he’d been sick for a while with kidney disease. I had no idea. Sad how we lose track of these guys once they're out of the spotlight.

Too bad he slipped off the rock radar screen after the mid 1970s; he was quite a talent in his day. “Will It Go 'Round In Circles" was a hit when I was like 13 and I remember particularly liking that one.

Third World Dictator Cities of Illinois

teh
I had to laugh at a quote in the SJ-R Online Breaking News. Urbana Alderwoman Heather Stevenson was the only dissenting vote on a smoking ban ordinance passed yesterday in that city.

“I don't think we should be a Third World dictator city that tells these people they have to go smoke-free," she said.

OK Heather, whatever.

Third World Dictator Cities in Illinois, according to the SJ-R article:

…include Chicago, Bloomington, Normal and Springfield. Cook County also has enacted a ban that will affect more than 100 Chicago suburbs, and similar ordinances are being considered in more than three dozen other communities.

So my entry for best word to describe Illinois is: Illiniosistan!

The Devil Is In The Details

teh
Happy 666 Day! CNN investigates if we are all doomed.


Have a nice day, you little devils.

Wordinois

teh
Rich Miller is asking readers to come up with one word, just one, to describe Illinois.

Some of my favorites posted so far:

FUBAR

Blagojevichburg

Beefy

Yeah, I think Beefy does the state justice.

The Post-Graduate

teh
Oh great. They just can’t leave well-enough alone –ever. I just saw this item about plans for a (book) sequal to The Graduate.

Elusive writer Charles Webb said Wednesday he has signed a publishing deal for a sequel to his 1963 novel "The Graduate," which introduced the memorable love triangle of twentysomething Benjamin Braddock, his sweetheart Elaine and her seductive mother, Mrs. Robinson.

The 1967 film adaptation made a star of Dustin Hoffman and created a screen icon in Anne Bancroft's Mrs. Robinson.

Decades on, Webb is ready to reveal the characters' fate.

"It was quite a while till I could figure out what they did next," he said.

"Home School" picks up the lives of Braddock and Elaine about 10 years on, living in upstate New York with their two children and trying to keep Mrs. Robinson at bay.

OK, let me say here that I didn’t even know one of my all-time favorite movies was a novel before a film. And for now, plans appear to be just for a book but can the film sequel be far behind? Oh, I hope not.

The Divorce Belt

teh
While the wingnuts are busying themselves “defending” marriage against including “queers” they failed to notice that it is they, not those scary fags, that are actually bad for marriage:

The Associated Press, using data supplied by the US Census Bureau, found that the highest divorce rates are to be found in the Bible Belt. The AP report stated that "the divorce rates in these conservative states are roughly 50 percent above the national average of 4.2 per thousand people." The 10 Southern states with some of the highest divorce rates were Alabama, Arkansas, Arizona, Florida, Georgia, Mississippi, North Carolina, Oklahoma, South Carolina, and Texas. By comparison nine states in the Northeast were among those with the lowest divorce rates: Connecticut, Massachusetts, Maine, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, and Vermont.

I propose a constitutional amendment banning the marriage of conservatives. They are clearly ruining the sanctity of marriage. Hell, Rush Limbaugh alone has been divorced three times.

By the way, in an act of mind-bending, Orwellian logic, White House spokesman Tony Snow today equated the anti-gay marriage amendment to “civil rights" legislation. Up is down.

Stunt Men

teh
Why is anyone still taking the proposed sell-off of the state lottery as anything other than a political ploy by Governor Blagojevich? I hope Dick Durbin’s comments in this SJ-R article were a response to a direct question about the "plan", because I hate to think he takes the idea seriously enough to bring it up on his own. Surely Durbin doesn’t believe the sell off is really going to happen or was ever intended to happen. Still, I guess he has to say something if asked, no matter how hypothetical the scenario.

Poor Dick Durbin. He’s faced with the lottery political stunt here at home and the gay marriage/flag burning political stunts in Washington. What’s a guy got to do to get to some serious governing?

Water Blogged

teh
Does anyone ever lose their water?

I walked into our bathroom today and noticed an unopened bottle of water sitting on the sink. Thinking up some snarky explanation, I decided it was there in event someone got trapped in the bathroom they would at least have water. Then I looked at the sink and realized even that isn’t funny (or maybe it is even more so) because there is running water from the sink available.

Which got me thinking…

Does anyone really ever lose running water in these parts? Certainly not anywhere near as often as you might lose electricity or phone service or cable. In fact, I don’t ever remember not having tab water –ever.

OK, if your pipes freeze in the winter, you lose water service. Maybe, depending on what pipe freezes. And, yes, there is the occasional boil order but they mostly happen in Loami or some other small town and even then you can still shower in the stuff. Short of not paying your bill, I can’t think of a reason you would ever lose access to your tap water.

I’m not sure why I bring this up. Maybe to promote appreciation for something we all take for granted. Something that people in most third world countries and the recently “liberated” Iraq would kill for.

When Videos Go Bad

teh
Ha, I resemble that remark:

If you're a "I wish I was young again" person like me and find yourself watching a lot of VH1 Classics, you may have noticed a few things about your favorite vids that were not so apparent when you first viewed them.

That from Usedwigs in a post titled “Unintentionally Gay Videos”. Go read and then watch the videos that definitely don’t stand the test of time.

Hat tip to Unfogged.

Deja Rendezvous

teh
Air Rendezvous 2006 will be over three weeks from now and I’m beginning to wonder if anyone will notice it was even here. There really isn’t much going on this year to draw a crowd.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Air Rendezvous, go every year, and will go this year. But there's no “big name” headline act this year like the Air Force Thunderbirds or Navy Blue Angels (who were in the Quad Cities this weekend). Most of the acts that are going to be here are the same ones that appear nearly every year.

But wait! There is something new and perhaps this will be the motivation for thongs to come out to Abe Field: A dodgeball tournament (go here, scroll down). Yup, what air show would be complete without dodgeball. Interested? Get your registration form here (pdf).

Silly me, I used to wonder what the jet-powered truck that shows up every year had to do with an air show, but now it seems entirely relevant compared to dodgeball.

And while I’m doing some petty bitching, can I ask why the Air Force isn’t doing Stealth fly-overs anymore. During the 1990s you couldn’t go to an air show without being buzzed by either a Stealth Fighter (F-117A) or a Stealth Bomber (B-2). And please, no jokes about how they are there, we just can’t see them. I have to assume this is an Air Force decision because I can’t imagine the organizers of air shows not making every effort to get one of these coolest-of-all-planes to make an appearance. That is, if they aren’t busy organizing dodgeball games.

Update: Read Job Conger’s thoughts in Comments. All of what he says is true. Let me be clear, I still love the Rendezvous and will go every year until the only thing left is the dodgeball. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the air show itself, this year or any otehr year (but I reserve the right to make fun of dodgeball competitions).

I’m just saying there is nothing new or big that might draw larger crowds this year. And that may not be a big deal at this point. People, like me, who love air shows, are going to go whether or not the Blue Angels are there. I know you can’t get the big name acts every year and the organizers do a great job. Besides, I have a nearly three-year-old in whom I’m trying to instill a love of aviation, and you bet I’m taking him. He’ll learn to love airplanes, dammit, or there will be a severe grounding in his future.

Please Clarify

teh
Dawn Summers thinks I'm funny. Is that ha-ha funny or this guy's-off-his-nut funny?

Another Springfield Blogger Makes Something of Himself

teh
On the heels of Jerome Prophet and his photos being picked up by the Illinois Times, we have the talented Dan Naumovich (BlogFreeSpringfield) being picked up by the State Journal-Register. This appeared in Sunday’s paper.

I’ve long thought Dan’s posts at BlogFreeSpringfield were, post for post, the best in town. Posting only one or two items a week, Dan’s BFS values quality over quantity. Bottom line: he’s a good writer and the SJ-R recognized it. Good for them, good for Dan and good for Springfield.

It’s kind of cool how this blogging thing has facilitated the exposure of previously undiscovered talent. JP for his photography and Dan for his writing. Congratulations guys.

Now if there was just a market for good beer blogging…

Aliens?

teh
Call it the Red Mennace…from outer space.

As bizarre as it may seem, the sample jars brimming with cloudy, reddish rainwater in Godfrey Louis's laboratory in southern India may hold, well, aliens.

[snip]

Louis has isolated strange, thick-walled, red-tinted cell-like structures about 10 microns in size. Stranger still, dozens of his experiments suggest that the particles may lack DNA yet still reproduce plentifully, even in water superheated to nearly 600 degrees Fahrenheit . (The known upper limit for life in water is about 250 degrees Fahrenheit .)

So how to explain them? Louis speculates that the particles could be extraterrestrial bacteria adapted to the harsh conditions of space and that the microbes hitched a ride on a comet or meteorite that later broke apart in the upper atmosphere and mixed with rain clouds above India.

Sound wild? Check out one of the “alternate” explanations:

Other theories have implicated…a fine mist of blood cells produced by a meteor striking a high-flying flock of bats.

Umm, is there a None of the Above option? I’m always suspicious of thes kinds of seemingly fantastic stories but who knows, maybe this time we really have been invaded by little green men, er, red cells.

The River of Banks

teh
Maybe it’s my Westside-centric view of the world but I have to agree with Marie that there seems to be some sort of bank building boom going on in Springfield. There are a ton of new banks open or being built. I just noticed yet another one a few days ago going up at Koke Mill and Old Jack.

Was there a bank shortage before? Are we going to get over saturated and some banks will start going out of business? Are people using more than one bank or switching every so often?

I’m quite certain "no" is the answer to all those questions. So what gives? Has banking simply become efficient enough that banks can survive on an ever smaller slice of the banking public? I suspect "yes" is the answer to that question.

Friday Beer Blogging: Summer Edition

teh
June 1st marks the beginning of meteorological summer (as opposed to the official start of summer later in the month) so I thought I’d feature a few summer brews.

Let’s start with an Anchor Summer Beer.

Follow that with a River Horse Summer Blonde.



And then let’s try an Alaskan Summer Ale.

Finally, if summer beer isn’t enough, try a Beer Margarita. Not sure this is my cup of beer, so to speak, but the recipe is here. Don’t plan on driving after drinking this stuff.

More Holidays!

teh
J.P. has some good ideas.

Misbehavin’

teh
Two things I missed yesterday while out of town:

Five inches of rain

Gas went up 23 cents a gallon

Can’t turn my back even for a minute.

And While We're Talking Baseball...

teh
This would be as good a place as any to pass on a Cubs joke (no, I’m not being redundant damn it!) sent to me by Mrs. TEH.

COURT RULING, Chicago Illinois, May 8, 2006 Chicago, Illinois (AP) – A seven year old boy was at the center of a Chicago courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The
boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with the child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the Judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

[big punch line coming and don't tell me you don't see it a mile away]

After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Chicago Cubs, who the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

OK, that was a long way to go for a cheap shot at the Cubs but it’s only appropriate it be a bit slow -just like the Cardinals fan that wrote it.

New Busch: A Non-Fan’s Review

teh
As I mentioned below, I was at the new Busch Stadium in St. Louis to see a Cardinals game yesterday. The Cardinals won –but who cares. The big thing to see was the ball club’s new stadium.

First, let me say that I was there as part of a corporate group that rented a couple of the party rooms and all my food and beer was free to me so I didn’t have the “financial” experience mere mortals have to endure. Therefore, I really have no idea if the new stadium also means higher prices. But I’d bet on it.

My first impressions, as we made our way to our party room, weren’t that good. We wandered seemingly forever through hallways that might be part of some partially finished office building. Once in the room and out on the seats, the view was much like the old Busch. For obvious reasons, the ball filed itself was what anyone would expect but we were under another deck of seating and could not see the top of the stadium or the St. Louis skyline. I knew at this point I wasn’t getting the whole experience so I filled my cup with free beer (after stuffing myself with free food) and headed out to take a real, unsheltered if you will, look at the ballpark.

My second impressions were much better. Like most “modern” ballparks, the new Busch has more open areas, or plazas, to mill about in and buy overpriced food and merchandise. I like these plazas. I remember thinking that when I first hit the new Comiskey in Chicago in the early 1990s. As someone who likes to wonder, especially during slow events like a baseball game, this is nice as I can get up mill around and still be able to see the game if I care to. I’m not stuck in one seat.

There was even a charity giving haircuts in a center field plaza in full view of the game. I almost wished I had needed a haircut just to experience that.

There is also a bar, of sorts, behind center field with an open view of the action. It’s open to anyone. Care to guess what there limited beer menu consists of? Again, it’s nice to have that option and not be relegated to only the seat you purchased to get in.

I made my way up to the upper decks and was surprised how good of view you have up there. I almost preferred those seats to those in the party room since you had more a feel of being in a ballpark, including being able to see the city skyline. I also didn’t feel like I was in a nosebleed section. I remember trying out some of the upper-most seats in the new Comiskey and feeling I was miles away and that I was going to slide right down to the field as the angle was so steep. I felt none of that at new Busch.

The new Busch is barely finished. In fact, there are parts inside and out that obviously aren’t. It’s amazing how fast they got the stadium up and functioning. In fact, if you go to (I think) the north part of the park and look out, you can still see the massive hole where the old Busch once stood. The old Busch, I’m sure, held a lot of memories for people who, for whatever reason, actually like the Cardinals but I definitely like the new stadium more than the old.

Be Back Soon

teh
My mini-vacation from work and blogging continues (and ends) today with a trip to the new Busch Stadium in St. Louis. I've been wanting to see the new digs even if I am morally opposed the Cardinals.

Tabloid News

teh
I saw this on CNN.com earlier today earlier and about gagged. We now have to commemorate the anniversaries of the day white women go missing?

Kevin says it all and even captured a picture.

Memorial Day

teh
I’m out of here for the weekend, making my annual Memorial Day trek to Giant City State Park. Actually, I’ll be close to birth place of, or place of inspiration for, Memorial Day. I just found out this today:

[General John A.] Logan [of Illinois] had been the principal speaker in a citywide memorial observation on April 29, 1866, at a cemetery in Carbondale, Illinois, an event that likely gave him the idea to make it a national holiday. On May 5, 1868, in his capacity as commander-in-chief of the Grand Army of the Republic, a veterans' organization, Logan issued a proclamation that "Decoration Day" be observed nationwide. It was observed for the first time on May 30 of the same year. The tombs of fallen Union soldiers were decorated in remembrance of this day.

OK, if you read the whole Wikipedia entry, Memorial Day was really more of a joint effort of many, but Carbondale and John A. Logan certainly played a major part.

I will not be blogging this weekend but I do have one request: between burgers and beers and baseball and brats, let’s all take at least a moment to remember those who we honor this weekend.


Blog at ya later. Peace.

Kinda Grinchy

teh
From the SJ-R Breaking News online:

The time-honored and potentially dangerous tradition of tossing candy to the crowd during the Illinois State Fair Twilight Parade is being outlawed.

Fair officials announced Friday that to make the parade safer, people on floats or vehicles will not be able to throw candy to onlookers during the Aug. 10 event. Parade participants still will be allowed to hand out candy to spectators.

They’re worried about safety with kids running out near moving vehicles to grab candy. I guess I can see the concern but has there ever been such an accident. I suppose somewhere, sometime something like that has happened but is it really that big a problem? I would guess more people get hurt on carnival rides, like the ones at the fair, than get hurt in candy-throwing accidents. But what do I know.

Pot - The Other White Meat

teh
This won’t be good news for those bent on continuing the ridiculous war against one of the most benign recreational drugs known to man.

The largest study of its kind has unexpectedly concluded that smoking marijuana, even regularly and heavily, does not lead to lung cancer.

The new findings "were against our expectations," said Donald Tashkin of the University of California at Los Angeles, a pulmonologist who has studied marijuana for 30 years.

"We hypothesized that there would be a positive association between marijuana use and lung cancer, and that the association would be more positive with heavier use," he said. "What we found instead was no association at all, and even a suggestion of some protective effect."

[snip]

Earlier work established that marijuana does contain cancer-causing chemicals as potentially harmful as those in tobacco, he said. However, marijuana also contains the chemical THC, which he said may kill aging cells and keep them from becoming cancerous.

The arguments for criminalized marijuana have always been weak and they seem to get worse over time.

The Lottery Gambit

teh
I can’t remember what blog I read it on (and I’m too lazy to go back and look) but it was suggested that Governor Blagojevich’s call for privatizing the Illinois lottery may be little more than a political head-fake. I’ve been thinking about it and I think that might be right.

The theory goes something like this: Blagojevich proposes the lottery privatization to raise money for education. This results in State Sen. James Meeks, who was threatening to run for governor unless something was done about education in the state, deciding not to run for governor. (Meeks’ run could have endangered Blagojevich’s re-election hopes by siphoning off enough votes to allow Judy Baar Topinka to win.) With Meeks out of the race, the lottery privatization plan dies in the Illinois Legislature. Blago gets re-elected, the lottery stays where it is and the world stays the same.

If that’s what’s going on it’s politically brilliant -and very cynical.

Friday Deer Blogging: Be Afraid, Very Afraid Edition

teh
Sadly, we live in Illinois were we can’t even hope to have the media drama of such things as shark and alligator attacks. Those lucky Floridians!

But wait…we do have a bunch of deer and, well, on the Southern Illinois University campus at Carbondale we have had…DUM-DEE-DUM-DUM…deer attacks. Ahhhhhhhhh!

Check out this picture and its caption from The Southern Illinoisan.

I love it. The deer is “presumably” the one that has gone on the attack. The couple is “dangerously close to her”.

I have to assume the photographer was unable to warn out unsuspecting couple of their imminent demise because he or her was miles away using a 10-foot-long telephoto lens to get the picture.

Now I’m going to be dangerously close to SIU this weekend so I’ve investigated the best ways to defend myself in the event of savage deer attack.

The first thing I learned was not to let the deer think you aren’t bad and won’t kick its ass.


Failing that, carry a big stick and don’t be afraid to use it.


Finally, as a last resort, just get one of these kitty's. It will take care of your problem.

I’m headed into the belly of the beast. The war zone. The front line of the War on Deerism. Wish me well, wish me well.

Friday Beer Blogging: Beer Cooler Edition

teh
It’s Memorial Day weekend. Time for getting together, grillin’ out and…beer coolers.

Beers on the go, beers outside need a good cooler packed with ice.


Put a layer of beers on the bottom, cover with ice, repeat until you reach the top of the cooler.



If you’re on the water, try one of these babies. I had one like it once, it eventually wore out, but it was great.
Finally, check out what Coors has come up with. A beer box that converts into a cooler.



The ultimate in convenience. Rip it open and load with ice. No need for a “real” cooler.

Fill that cooler and enjoy your beverages this weekend but if you can't drink responsibly -don't drive.

Warning Weary

teh
You know when this is REALLY annoying? When you've captured weather warning contaminated shows on your TiVo (or VCR, etc.) and watch them long after the weather has moved on. At least there's a certain immediacy to the warnings when watching TV live. Watching them two days later just feels silly. How ‘bout a TiVo that filters these things out?

More Deer Blogging

teh
The Southern Illinois University deer insurgency rages on. And we’re now getting our first reports from the brave troops prosecuting the war on deer.

[Begin whistling the theme from The Good, The Bad and the Ugly here]

SIUC Police Sgt. Harold Tucker was the first to confront the doe Tuesday near the campus lake around 12:30 p.m. He told about his incident during a press conference Wednesday afternoon.

Tucker said he regularly walks the path around the lake and was doing do when the deer jumped from high brush along the path and stood in his way. He said the deer obviously felt he had encroached on her territory and he tried to escape.

[Oops, begin Jaws music]

"As I turned to run she reared up and hit me on my shoulder hard enough that it knocked me into a tree very hard," Tucker said. "And from there I glanced off the tree and right into the lake."

[Must…control…laughter]

Tucker said he was "very blessed" the deer could not get to him in the water, because he said the animal looked as if she had intentions to continue attacking
him.

[Can’t control laugh much longer…]

Our second contestant in the Running of the Deer is a 58-year-old student (must be on the 40 year plan).

Henry Dews, a 58-year-old English student, [OK, he's an English student, that explains it] said he had decided to take a walk along the lake path sometime after 1 p.m. Tuesday.

[snip]

"Three-fourths of the way down there I see the deer," said Dews... "I always give wild animals plenty of space. I'm not one of those people who think it is cute to get close to them."

Dews said he thought he was far enough away when he turned to leave, but the deer suddenly crossed his path. [cue Psycho music] When he turned away again to run, the doe charged at his back, clipping Dews in the neck with her hoof. The doe reared up several more times before backing off.

Dews went to the squad car to report the incident. "After I came down there, that's when they started telling people not to go down there," he said.

The area where the attacks occurred continued to be cordoned off Wednesday, and the suspect doe was still stalking the territory during the morning.

"Suspect doe"?

See, if college campuses weren’t full of gun-banning liberals, the administration could issue a hunting rifle must-carry rules and the deer problem at SIU would be blown away (heh, heh) very quickly.

Developing story.

Get Your TUPWWEAUE On

teh
Best term to date for the Bush/neo-con “War on Terror”:

The Unilaterally Proclaimed War Without End Against Ubiquitous Evil.

Unfortunately, TUPWWEAUE doesn’t make a good acronym.

Clarifier

teh
Just to set the record straight…

My post below about the confederate flag and those who would display it here in Springfield was in no way meant to bash the South, Southerners or relocated Southerners who live here. I got a couple of comments that I think missed that point. (Some Southerners do deserve bashing as do many aspects of Southern politics but that’s another post for another day.)

My focus was strictly on asking what possible reason one would have for wanting to display the confederate flag, especially here. I think it sends the wrong message (or worse, the right message) about the person who feels the need to get behind that symbol.

Sight Unseen

teh
My top seven TV shows that I don't care to watch, in the order I don't watch them:

American Idol
Desperate Housewives
CSI: Miami
Grey’s Anatomy
24
Lost
Deal or No Deal

Deer Me!

teh
Remember the killer deer that terrorized the Southern Illinois University campus in Carbondale last year (see my coverage here, here and here)? Well they’re back and looking for trouble.

CARBONDALE - Three people were attacked by a doe Tuesday afternoon at Southern Illinois University Carbondale. It was the first deer-human encounter on campus this year, but the incident marks a repeat of several attacks that happened last year due to the deer fawning season.

[snip]

Police aren't releasing the names of the victims but reported the attack left one female university employee needing stitches for a gash on her forehead. The doe also scratched a student's jaw and sprained the wrist of another campus employee.

This makes 12 people in the last year who have been attacked by doe protecting their young.

I’m sure this is just a group of deer dead-enders. Although I hear the SIU deerorists may have some connection to the ‘gators running amok in Florida. Theses animals, and that’s what they are, hate us for our freedom. Time for universal wiretapping of all veterinary clinics, zoos, wildlife refuges and national parks.

Nom de Storm

teh
National meteorologists have come up with their predictions for the upcoming hurricane season. They also released this year’s storm names list.
I’m predicting Florence, Joyce and Oscar are going to be bad ones. I base that solely on the names. They just sound like dangerous hurricanes. Which got me thinking…

Perhaps the National Weather Service is responsible for killer storms simply because of the names they give them. I think it’s a theory worth checking out. To that end, I’ve come up a list of alternative, non-threatening names that might serve to discourge the formation of killer storms.

Hey, it’s worth a try. It doesn’t cost anything and like they say, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. And if this doesn’t work, next season we can try the opposite tact, give the storms names so hideous and brutal (Behemoth, Hitler, Scull-Crusher, etc.) the storms will die out early realizing they can never live up to their moniker.

Lead of the Year

teh
Wow, this has to be the most awesome lead to a story I’ve read in some time.

BLOOMINGTON -- A Bloomington attorney compared a $500 million wind farm set for construction in eastern McLean County to a psychedelic disco party that will have nearby residents vomiting in their back yards.

How cool is that! Gotta love the Pantagraph, just gotta.

Clam-Hell Packaging

teh
I rudely reprint this Ezra Klein post in full because I’ll do anything to advance this cause:

Glad to see someone taking on the big issues. Wired has an article today on clamshell (or Oyster) packaging -- those hellish sheets of thick, soldered-together plastic that entomb all manner of electronics and make extraction a project requiring enough sharp pieces of metal to fill a medieval armory. The little buggers are so irritating that Consumer Reports named an award after them, the Oyster Awards, given to the most difficult to open products.

If everyone hates the stuff, why is it used? Well, retailers, apparently, love the packaging style: it cuts down on in-store theft, reduces damage during shipping, and allows for easy visibility of the internal product. But the clamshells are so tricky to open that a fair number of folks slice themselves while trying to cut into the buggers. Most just get a quick gash, but according to ER doctors, a fair number rip through tendons and nerves, requiring orthopedic surgery. And that's to say nothing of increased cardiovascular disease and domestic tensions brought on by the stress of trying to open your AV cables. Retailers, however, are unrepentant. John Zittrauer, a spokesperson for Best Buy, admits that clamshells "are a lot of times a pain to get open. But it's a tough line to walk to make things not easily accessible for theft protection before purchase and easy to open after purchase."

Think a boycott would work?

Amen, brother. I’m so sick of virtually all packaging these days -not just the “clamshell” but almost everything- I could, and usually do, scream. Just the other day, Mrs. TEH came home with greeting cards that were sealed in plastic. Greeting cards! I damn-near ripped the cards trying to extract them. Most often heard from me while trying to open something these days: “This is bullshit”.

The Write Time

teh
This criticism may seem a bit strained but I have a problem with people holding public office writing books or having any other part time job. This is especially true of those holding national office such as President, Senator or Representative. I bring this up because I see Senator Barack Obama of Illinois has written another book.

I’m sure Obama’s book, The Audacity of Hope: Reclaiming the American Dream, is a good one. He’s a thoughtful, intelligent man with lots to say. I’d probably even pick up the book myself if I had the time. Yes, if I had the time. And that gets to my gripe (petty as it is).

I don’t think a U.S. Senator has the time to write a book. Or shouldn’t. Maybe I’m just applying my own personal bias here, but if I were a Senator I would feel obliged to learn everything I can about, well, everything. That would involve a lot of reading and little writing other than in pursuit of more learning.

I often wonder how much these guys really know about the things they are voting on; not just the verbiage of the legislation itself but the ideas, causes and effects behind the measures. I think it would drive me to a near state of paralysis wanting to get all the facts before casting a vote. I would want to devour information as fast as I could access it. I wouldn’t have time to write a book in the middle of all that. Book writing would come after I retired from (or, more likely, voted out of) office.

So while, I appreciate the Senator’s literary abilities and many of the ideas he will presumably communicate in the new book, I just think he needs to focus on the job he was elected to do. And that goes for the rest of them too.

Thinking Too Hard

teh
The Da Vinci Code gets the academic treatment and, in the process, one of the strangest reviews I’ve seen of the movie. But if you’re looking for an idea for a term paper, Cole gives you a good start.

A Flag Out of Water

teh
I know I’ve made mention in the past of being somewhat irked at seeing the confederate flag around these parts. Specifically, I recounted having seen some either insensitive or simply moronic jerk wearing the stars and bars on a t-shirt at the dedication of the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum a year ago. I also recently showed some faux outrage at confederate flags being displayed in Abe Lincoln’s hometown while mocking those who were getting upset at the site of the Mexican flag at some recent demonstrations in support of immigrants.

But today I pulled into a parking space in a store parking lot here in town only to observe a pickup truck, right in front of me, with a confederate flag emblem attached to its grill. It had Illinois plates. I thought, how strange that is really. I mean, what’s the purpose? Here in Springfield. Illinois what is the reason for displaying the confederate flag?

In the South, they hide behind some notion of “Southern Heritage”, whatever that is, to justify their rebel flag displays. But what’s the rationale here? All it says to me is, “Hey, I’m a racist fuck and proud of it.”

Maybe someone can explain this phenomenon to me.

Any Comments?

teh
The SJ-R Online is now accepting comments to their online stories. What a great idea. Instant letters to the editor. What a very bloggy thing to do. I think it works particularly well for stories like this one. Way to go SJ-R!

Update: I do wonder though, is someone on duty to moderate the comments? As we all know here in Blogistan, comments can get out of hand and even libelous if not watched. A high profile site (locally) like the SJ-R's is ripe for abuse. Even more love to the SJ-R is they are paying someone to watch the comments.

Da Code

teh
Saw The Da Vinci Code tonight. It’s good. Go see it.

Really, I’m left wondering what so many critics are bitching about. It’s a good film. Maybe they had high expectations and I didn’t (thanks to their reviews). It wasn’t boring, Tom Hanks was not miscast, it wasn’t hard to follow and it wasn’t ruined by being too faithful to the book.

Iraxodus

teh
Well, this should make the occupation of Iraq easier. Iraq is being depopulated of Iraqis.

In the latest indication of the crushing hardships weighing on the lives of Iraqis, increasing portions of the middle class seem to be doing everything they can to leave the country. In the last 10 months, the state has issued new passports to 1.85 million Iraqis, 7 percent of the population and a quarter of the country's estimated middle class.

Would the last Iraqi out please get the light at the end of the tunnel?

Bonus Beer Blogging: Time to Recycle Edition

teh
I wish I’d seen this earlier; I’d made it the focus of Friday Beer Blogging. Apparently, some guy in Utah left his townhouse with no less than 70, 000 empty beer cans piled up half way to the ceiling. Story and must-see pictures here.

The beer cans, all 70,000 of them, were Coors Light.

Friday Beer Blogging: Using Your Brains Edition

teh
Normally, the thought of drinking brains would be a bit of a turn-off. But not so if you’re talking about consuming Brains beer! Ha, you never saw that one coming.

Yes there’s a Brains beer. It’s brewed in Wales by the S. A. Brain & Company. And it doesn’t look like this...

Nope, but it does look like this...


And this...

Anything else is just a no-brainer. (There I go again giving away brilliant marketing slogans.)

Put A Bag Over Their Heads

teh
This really is very funny. A group supported by the oil industry is set to begin airing television ads extolling the virtues of CO2. I see their point: is there anything better than taking a good hit off a tailpipe?

Space Race

teh
Hey, why not the Abraham Lincoln Capital Spaceport?

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- The promise of blasting thrill-seeking tourists into space is fueling an unprecedented rush to build snazzy commercial spaceports.

The Federal Aviation Administration is reviewing proposals from New Mexico, Oklahoma and Texas to be gateways for private space travel. Depending on how environmental reviews and other requirements go, approval could come as early as this year and the sites could be ferrying space tourists soon after.

Forget the soon departing F-16s of the 183rd, let’s get some spaceships in here. The Hilton downtown already looks like a rocket that landed nose-first in the center of the city. Visit space then hit the Lincoln sites.

Prediction

teh
One year from today the illegal immigration landscape will look, aside from some window dressing, exactly the same as it does today. And no one will be talking about it or even care.

It’s amazing how an issue can suddenly, almost out of nowhere, catch fire with politicains, the media and their pundits, and then just as quickly becomes a non-issue again.

From the Freezer to the Fire

teh
While I appreciate the fact that the week-long pattern of November weather finally lifted today, I’m a little dismayed at this long range forecast from Weather.com

98 degrees a week from today? WTF?

The Smoke Lifts in Another Illinois City

teh
Smoking ban passes in Champaign. Restaurants and bars all going out of business. You know, if this trend continues there isn’t going to be anywhere to eat or drink in Illinois.

Belt Cop

teh
Oh boy, the Illinois State Police are out looking for seatbelt violators again. I have no problem with the seatbelt law; in fact, I was a strong proponent 20+ years ago when wearing a seatbelt first became mandatory. But I’ve always had a question about how easy it is to accurately enforce. Sure there are clear cut situations, like after an accident, where it’s obvious if someone was beltless. But I’m not so sure about a cop sitting on the side of the road being able to determine if I’m wearing a seatbelt as I’m speeding by at 65 miles per hour. And I base that skepticism on personal experience.

One day about five years ago, I was pulled over by a State cop for a (very alleged) moving violation. While examining my driver’s license, the cop noted, verbally, that I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. Which was true at that moment as I sat in my cart on the side of the road.

You see, I had unbuckled my seatbelt (once I was pulled over) so I could get my wallet out of my back pocket. I’d been stopped enough times to know the cop was going to need my license which I kept in my wallet. I was ready for him when he got to my window.

Anyway, I tell this cowboy why I don’t have my seatbelt buckled at the moment but he clearly did not believe me. Why, I’m nor sure. I mean don’t most men remove their seatbelt to get to their wallet? I dunno, maybe not but I do.

Well, the cop just knows I’m lying but since he had already determined he was giving me a ticket for my (very alleged) moving violation, he apparently decided to just let the seatbelt thing go.

But what if he had been on one of these ‘Click It or Ticket’ crusades? I would have gotten a ticket for something I was completely innocent of. (Actually, the ticket I got was for something I was completely innocent of but that’s another story).

I guess I just have to question the ability of police to always determine who is and who isn’t wearing a seatbelt.

Fence Off the Hoosiers!

teh
Robert J. Ellisberg, blogging on the HuffPo, has some fun with immigration issue. Turns out there’s a problem here in Illinois with state border-crossing by our neighbors.

A private citizens group in Illinois today announced plans to build a wall along the Indiana border to keep out those they say are streaming across the unprotected state line. The problem, they say, has been growing for the past 30 years.

“Ever since the oil refineries in Gary began closing in the mid-1970s, people there have had to find other income,” states the leader of the group, T. Herbert Duffy. “They’ve been streaming into Chicago ever since.”

[snip]

Duffy is clear to insist, that it’s not just Indians the Minutepeople want to protect Illinois from, but all Illegals. The problem, he says, is that there aren’t enough border guards in Illinois. “Or actually, any.” That’s when they knew they had to build the wall. “To keep all illegal immigrants out. All. "

When asked if that includes illegals from Kentucky, Duffy hedged a little. “That’s the really squiggly part of the state border,” he noted, “and it’s pretty hard to build a wall on something that shape. We can bend our metal piping a little, but not that much.”

However, the Minutepeople are concerned about illegal immigrants from Missouri. “In some ways, they’re worse than Indiana,” the Exalted High Poobah noted. “Who wants all those St. Louis Cardinals fans here?! The Cardinals suck..” But the Minutepeople don’t have any plans to build a fence along the Illinois-Missouri border. “No, that’s why God created the Mississippi River,” states Duffy. “If anyone from Missouri tried to swim across, their fat butts would sink.”

The river, however, is only the first line of defense against both the Missouri and Iowa borders. “If any Illegal tries to drive into Illinois over bridges, you can see them coming. And since it’s mostly single file, that makes them easy to pick off. Also, we’re buying landmines to plant along the shore.”

That only leaves the Wisconsin border to the north.

Duffy admitted that initially the Minutepeople had forgotten about the northern border. But after a good laugh and a couple of beers, he said they all realized, “We really got nothing against Wisconsin. Cheese, beer, how can you not like them? Hate the Green Bay Packers, but the Bears rule, so what? The only thing about Wisconsiners is that when they come here they drive tractors really slow down the middle of the road. Forget ‘em. They’re like us, they’re okay.”

Read the whole thing here.

Half-Baked Plans That Sound Good On Talk Radio

teh
I have a feeling this recent something-must-be-done-about-illegal-immigration flap will dissipate over the next few months but for now it’s of the highest priority among the pundit and political classes.

What I’m wondering is, can you really shut down the flow of illegals coming from Mexico and Central America? Even if you could construct a giant, impenetrable barrier along the whole 2000 mile Mexican border (and, as Stephen Colbert suggested last night on his show, front it with a flaming mote filled with fire-proof alligators) would that put an end to illegal immigration? Would it make a serious dent? I’m seriously asking.

It seems to me, many if not most would-be border jumpers would simply take to the sea. I’m not sure if logistically you could get as many people smuggled into the country that way but I bet it would be close as long as there are jobs to be had here (and not there). Like I pointed out before, efforts to stem the importation of drugs into the country have been a dismal failure, what makes anyone think the same won’t be true of human contraband?

Maybe I’m wrong but it just seems to me the Stopping Them at the Border plan isn’t going to work on its own. Without drying up the demand for the workers here, and improving the economies in their home countries, they’re going to find a way in.

Mini-Wrigley

teh
How cool would it be as a kid to play Little League ball in a replica of a major league field? Freeport, Illinois is making that dream come true for some.

Ron Santo Day was declared in Freeport for a fundraiser Tuesday at Read Park to
help build Little Cubs Field. Groundbreaking for the $250,000 field will begin in July. Organizers hope to open the field in April, on the same day as the 2007 Cubs home opener at Wrigley.

The field will measure 100 feet down the left and right field lines. It will be used for Wiffleball and for 7- and 8-year-old boys and girls in the Pee Wee divisions of Little League.

[snip]

“This has never been done,” Garkey said. “There is no miniature version of Wrigley Field anywhere in the world. We’re going to make it with real bricks that look like Wrigley Field bricks. We’ll have the basket over the wall. You can sit in the bleachers in left and right field. A replica of the center field scoreboard. The Welcome to Wrigley Field sign. The hand-operated scoreboard. The dugouts will look like Wrigley; we will even sink them in the ground. The Cubs even gave us ivy from their walls.”

[snip]

“We’re hoping it will be a big tourist attraction,” said Ronnie Bush, a member of the project’s board.

And that last part isn’t such a far-out notion. Lots of Chicago area residents go right past Freeport on their way to Galena. I bet a few might stop in to check out Pee Wee Wrigley.

For what it's worth Freeport has some of the nicest urban (if you can consider Freeport urban) parks I’ve ever seen. In addition to Read Park where Little Cubs Field will go up, Krape Park is simply amazing.

K's Klosing?

teh
K’s Merchandise Mart is in trouble and might be forced to close if this story is right:

DECATUR - A Monday deadline looms for a committee created to examine the books in the hopes of saving the financially troubled K's Merchandise Mart Inc.

The Decatur-based chain - its Web site lists 17 stores in Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Missouri and Kentucky - already has sailed close to the edge of bankruptcy. Now its fate rests on whether creditors and a new company effectively running K's can work out a deal that will save it. If not, bankruptcy and shutdown loom.

Will K’s closing -if it closes- make much difference here in Springfield? I’ll admit I rarely go in the place anymore. Part of that is convenience; the far west side stores are just closer to where I live. Still, I’m not sure K’s stands out as a great place to shop anymore. Nothing against them (I even worked at the Springfield K’s store briefly years ago), I just think they won’t be missed all that much with all the other retail opportunities available to shoppers.