The emu menace is moving north. You may recall this incident last spring in Southern Illinois involving a rogue emu. Well, now the Metro East area is dealing with the defiant birds.
GRANITE CITY — Packing 100 pounds on its 5-foot frame, the big bird gave police in this St. Louis suburb a mighty run, confounding them all six times someone reported the ostrich-like beast bugging motorists last weekend along busy Illinois Route 3.First let me say I’m impressed Rich Miller has time to be a police chief in addition to running Capitol Fax. Best blogger AND cop. The man is tireless.
Police finally caught up to the claw-footed menace Monday and ended the ruckus once and for all, cornering the emu, a cousin to the ostrich, and shooting it dead out of fear it'd again wander into traffic and kill someone.
Two days later, police on Wednesday still were pecking away at the vexing question: Where did the bird come from?
``We figured someone would call and say, `That's my bird!''' Police Chief Rich Miller said. ``But we still haven't heard from anybody.''
Secondly, emus don’t come from anywhere, they just are (go ahead try to figure out which came first, the emu or the egg). And the emu problem will continue to spread.
I’ve been accused of underplaying certain crisis, up to and including comets heading straight for Earth to smash it into a million bits, but it can’t be said I didn’t sound the alarm when it comes to rampaging emus.
By the way, in case you were wondering what one does with emu road kill:
Meat from the emu slain here was being processed by a Granite City police officer who hunts and would be donated to local food pantries, Miller said.Yum! Emu cutlets!
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Assume the position
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