Dogfight!

The SJ-R Sunday reveals (or, more likely, tries to start) a feud between Springfield and Ft. Wayne, IN over the 183rd Fighter Wing. The paper seems to want the mayors of the two cities to come to verbal blows over it. They almost succeed. At one point the Mayor Graham Richard of Ft. Wayne suggests Springfield Mayor Tim Davlin needs to buck-up:

"I'd say, 'Tim, my heart goes out to you,'" Richard replied last week. "'We've had companies that have closed, have gone into bankruptcy, been restructured. We've lost jobs that have been moved to other communities. I'm sorry that it had to happen to your community.'"

In other words, don't go messing up my city's good fortune by making a big deal about this. And, oh, be a man and roll with the changes.

I simply won't be sucked into this juvenile posturing. ...Oh yes I will!

I have a solution. Let's have a winner take all fight for the F-16s. Not just the 183rd, but Ft. Wayne's 122nd as well.

The two air units will meet over neutral airspace, say over Wisconsin, and duke it out using the skill of their pilots and whatever armaments their planes can carry. First unit to score five kills wins and gets the other unit's (remaining) planes and budget.

Hoosier pilots are pussies and the 183rd stands to win big. [insert your own trash talk here]

Once we win, we'll have to use some of their funding to cover the big basketballs painted on the sides of the Indiana planes but that will still leave plenty of money put in some real improvements at Abraham Lincoln International Airport (all kidding about the name of Springfield's airport aside, Ft. Wayne's airport is called Fort Wayne International Airport - puh-leeeees).

Anyway, Ft. Wayne, if your guys have the balls for it, how 'bout showing us what you are made of; cuz we sure could use those pretty planes of yours.