The day after Christmas is usually a very slow news day, so thankfully there’s the Washington Park port-a-potty scandal to fall back on. Isn’t a dirty public portable bathroom kind of a dog bites man story?
First, let me point out that Willie C. Johnson is one of those fake names we would use as kids for a prank magazine subscription. You know, like I.P. Freely and Ida Phucter. To use it in conjunction with a story about bathrooms is to appeal to my suppressed 6th grade sense of humor. Thanks SJ-R!
Second, I can’t imagine doing any sit-down business in a portable toilet in the middle of winter. Wouldn’t there be some danger of having your ass freeze to the seat? I don’t want to be in a position where I need someone to come in and pour warm water on me to free my flesh from that. And with crazed, stick-wielding chest scratchers on the loose in the park, I’d also be afraid of getting caught with my pants down when I should be fleeing.
Thirdly, and maybe this was covered at some other time and I just missed it, isn’t the bigger story here that homeless people were drawn to the heated bathrooms in the park and that those bathrooms are now closed for the winter because of that “problem”. That’s sad on so many levels. At a minimum though, the park district should keep their indoor bathrooms open during the day. Even if the homeless seeking shelter in the restrooms at night are deemed a danger, locking the restrooms up at sunset should take care of that issue while still allowing everyone else use of the facilities during the day.