Tuesday, April 15, 2008

How to Get a Day Off Without Really Trying

Once again: mass murderers do not announce their intentions on bathroom walls.
CHICAGO -- Two colleges returned to normal class schedules after a promised doomsday scrawled in graffiti came and went without incident, but one university remained closed Tuesday as administrators weighed the seriousness of the threats.

Administrators told students and nonessential personnel to remain off campus at Saint Xavier University, where a message in a bathroom reading “Be prepared to die on 4/14” resulted in empty campuses Monday not only at the Catholic liberal arts college on the city’s southwest side, but also at four nearby elementary and high schools.
Hmmmm. This does give me an idea though. I’ve long missed the three-month summer vacations associated with being a student. It would be nice to have another one. So what I’ll do is take my Sharpie into the company bathroom and scrawl (you scrawl, not write, graffiti ya know) something to the effect that everyone will die 06/01/08 – 08/31/08. Three months off! Cuz you can’t take any chances no matter how improbable the claim.

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