God Hates Fags, er, Sponges

Is there any doubt that homosexuals are the new communists? They're everywhere, I tell you! Subverting society from their secret cells hidden even in cartoons!

WASHINGTON, Jan. 19 - On the heels of electoral victories barring same-sex
marriage, some influential conservative Christian groups are turning their
attention to a new target: the cartoon character SpongeBob SquarePants.

"Does anybody here know SpongeBob?" Dr. James C. Dobson, the founder of
Focus on the Family, asked the guests Tuesday night at a black-tie dinner for
members of Congress and political allies to celebrate the election
results.

SpongeBob needed no introduction. In addition to his popularity among
children, who watch his cartoon show, he has become a well-known camp figure
among adult gay men, perhaps because he holds hands with his animated sidekick
Patrick and likes to watch the imaginary television show "The Adventures of
Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy.

"Now, Dr. Dobson said, SpongeBob's creators had enlisted him in a
"pro-homosexual video," in which he appeared alongside children's television
colleagues like Barney and Jimmy Neutron, among many others. The makers of the
video, he said, planned to mail it to thousands of elementary schools to promote
a "tolerance pledge" that includes tolerance for differences of "sexual
identity."

The video's creator, Nile Rodgers, who wrote the disco hit "We Are Family,"
said Mr. Dobson's objection stemmed from a misunderstanding.

Mr. Rodgers said he founded the We Are Family Foundation after the Sept. 11
attacks to create a music video to teach children about multiculturalism. The
video has appeared on television networks, and nothing in it or its accompanying
materials refers to sexual identity. The pledge, borrowed from the Southern
Poverty Law Center, is not mentioned on the video and is available only on the
group's Web site.

Mr. Rodgers suggested that Dr. Dobson and the American Family Association,
the conservative Christian group that first sounded the alarm, might have been
confused because of an unrelated Web site belonging to another group called "We
Are Family," which supports gay youth.

I think SpongeBob has also been seeing Tinky-Winky on the down-low. The horror.