Friday, December 22, 2006

Friday Beer Blogging: Twas the Beer Before Christmas Edition

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a beer was pouring, not even a Moosehead.
The Beer mugs were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St Nicholas soon would bring beer.

The dudes were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Pilsners danced in their heads.
And mamma with her Miller Light, and I with my Bud,
Had just chilled our beers for a long winter’s nip.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I threw my empty in the trash,
Tore open another beer and threw up the sash.

The Blue Moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to bottles below.
When, what to my blood-shot eyes should appear,
But a miniature beer truck, and eight tiny beers.

With a little old driver, so lively and brawny,
I knew in a moment it must be the Girl, St. Pauli.
More rapid than eagles her ales they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Corona! now, Amstel! now, Molson and Rolling Rock!
On, Miller! On, Blatz! on, on Guiness and Amber Bach!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now drink away! Drink away! Drink away all!"

As dry beer that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an bar stool, mount to the sky.
So up to the house-top the ales they flew,
With the sleigh full of beers, and St Pauli Girl too.

And then, while I was tinkling, I heard on the roof
The twisting and opening of all the little brews.
As I zipped up my fly, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St Pauli Girl came all tanned and brown.

She was dressed all in fur, from her head to her foot,
And her clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of beers she had flung on her back,
And she looked like a partier, just opening her six-pack.

Her eyes-how they twinkled! her dimples how merry!
Her cheeks were like roses, her nose like a cherry!
Her droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beer on her chin was very foamy you know.

The stump of an opener she held tight in her teeth,
And the aroma of ale encircled her head like a wreath.
She had a cute face and round of beers close to her belly,
They shook when she laughed, like a bowlful of jelly!

She was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw her, in spite of myself!
A wink of her eye and a twist of the tap,
Soon gave me to know I was one lucky chap.

She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,
And filled all the beer mugs, then turned with a jerk.
And laying her finger aside of her hose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney she rose!

She sprang to her beer truck, to her beers gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard her exclaim, ‘ere she drove out of sight,
"Many beers to all, and to all a good-night!"

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