Honor the Texas flag; I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas, one state under God, one and indivisible.Yeah, OK, one more reason to never live in Texas.
The national pledge is silly enough and forcing kids to mindlessly recite it everyday accomplishes nothing. But a state pledge piled on top of that? Throw in the odd Moment of Silence™ and pretty soon the school day is over.
I think I'm stealing this from Chris Rock or somebody, but why do you have to repeat a pledge over and over again? It’s a pledge; say it once and you’re done. We don’t repeat our wedding vows every morning. Members of the armed forces only have to pledge loyalty once when they enlist. Christian denominations that have a confirmation ceremony only require it once. Need I go on?
But back to state pledges. Zorn invokes a bit of snark and suggests if Illinois gets a pledge it should begin, “I pledge allegiance to the flag of Illinois and the incompetence and corruption for which it stands...” And while that’s funny, some of the real pledges seem like parody:
Kentucky: I pledge allegiance to the Kentucky flag, and to the Sovereign State for which it stands, one Commonwealth, blessed with diversity, natural wealth, beauty, and grace from on High.
Michigan: I pledge allegiance to the flag of Michigan, and to the state for which it stands, 2 beautiful peninsulas united by a bridge of steel, where equal opportunity and justice to all is our ideal.
Alabama: Flag of Alabama I salute thee. To thee I pledge my allegiance, my service, and my life.
Louisiana: I pledge allegiance to the flag of the state of Louisiana and to the motto for which it stands: A state, under God, united in purpose and ideals, confident that justice shall prevail for all of those abiding here.
Ohio: I salute the flag of the state of Ohio and pledge to the Buckeye State respect and loyalty.
Arkansas: I Salute the Arkansas Flag With Its Diamond and Stars. We Pledge Our Loyalty to Thee.
South Dakota: I pledge loyalty and support to the flag and state of South Dakota, land of sunshine, land of infinite variety.
Mississippi: I salute the flag of Mississippi and the sovereign state for which it stands with pride in her history and achievements and with confidence in her future under the guidance of Almighty God.
And by the way, which pledge, your state’s or the national one, trumps? Are you first a Texan or a citizen of the United States? Divided loyalties can be so confusing!
And why stop at the state level. Can’t we have a pledge of allegiance to Springfield? Or Sangamon County? Or the library district? I’m a sitting member of our neighborhood association and I’ll soon be introducing a motion to establish a pledge of loyalty to our subdivision. I mean, what if we get into it with Bradfordton Place or Oak Park? I need to know who I can count on.