Bong Hits 4 Jesus

In case you needed reminding, even the highest institutions of the land are still subject to the absurd. Can you believe the Supreme Court is hearing this case?

WASHINGTON (AP) -- A high school senior's 14-foot banner proclaiming "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" gave the Supreme Court a provocative prop for a lively argument Monday about the extent of schools' control over student speech.

If the justices conclude Joseph Frederick's homemade sign was a pro-drug message, they are likely to side with principal Deborah Morse. She suspended Frederick in 2002 when he unfurled the banner across the street from the school in Juneau, Alaska.

And Ken Starr (yes, that Ken Starr) is representing the school in this matter. Can we call him “Ol’ Blowjobs ‘n’ Bongs” now?

Man, I’d love to be sitting in on this hearing. Especially when I could here things like this:

Justice Antonin Scalia, ridiculing the notion that schools should have to tolerate speech that seems to support illegal activities, asked about a button that says, "Smoke Pot, It's Fun."

Or, he wondered, should the court conclude that only speech in support of violent crime can be censored. "'Extortion Is Profitable,' that's okay?" Scalia asked.

Oh SNAP, A-Man! If kids were running around with “Extortion Is Profitable” buttons, the ensuing anarchy would be too awesome to contemplate. That’s it, I’m getting an Extortion Is Profitable t-shirt as soon as they come out. That’s sticking it to the Man.