Flagtasia: Episode Three

OK, as usual, Fafblog! has the final word on the issue of the day:

Well a lot of you are probably sitting around today going "oh well finally I can sleep peacefully! a solution has arrived to the nationwide flag-burning epidemic." Well you are wrong! The flag-burning amendment would only allow Congress to punish people for desecrating the actual flag - when there are dozens of other ways to humiliate Freedom by defacing other Freedomlike objects!

Photographs of flags

It is useless to protect the symbol of Freedom if we cannot also protect its very image! How would you like to walk down the street of some sunny future Main Street secure in the knowledge that the brutal local flag-burning rings have been brought to justice - only to find Saddam Hussein burning a pile of American flag post cards! "Oh don't mind me, I'm not burning a flag," the butcher of Baghdad will say. "I'm just burning a picture of a flag." Arrest him if you will, but he will only be released on a technicality... and will defiantly sweep out of the courthouse high-fiving his terrorist "homies" and flipping you off while you stew in impotent rage! He will go on to kill your partner and threaten your girlfriend over a series of oddly contrived yet increasingly chilling phone calls until you personally kill him in the climactic finale.

Photographs of photographs of flags

Don't think you can cheat your way out of this one, traitors! Giblets is thinking ahead.

The Rand McNally Road Atlas of the United States

When terrorist sympathizers are unable to burn the symbol of America, they will jump at the chance to deface America itself - IN MINIATURE! You have not known fury until you have seen the highways and byways of middle America shamefully disfigured with felt-tip and highlighter.

Just try arguing with that. Oh, and there's more to the post, so go read the whole thing if you still think you can poke holes in this line of reasoning.