Potty Mouth

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As part of a larger redecorating project in our house last fall, we had a couple of new toilets put in. They’re of the “low-flush” variety that allegedly results in less water use.

Well, we’ve been experiencing some problems with these new units clogging rather easily. And since I’m Da Man with Da Plunger, I’ve been pressed into service more times than I care to remember (really, I don’t want to remember any of those times).

So I call a plumber, the guy who installed the toilets as a matter of fact, to get some help. About all he could do is offer advice. First he told me that he thought the new low-flush toilets are, ummmm, crap and then offered a strategy on how to best avoid clogs.

He suggested the Two Flush Method™. That is, you flush twice, at different times during your bathroom activity. But I love how he described it. He said I need to flush once after completing my business and then again after, and I quote, “completing your paperwork”. Awesome, he was able to communicate that without once using the words “poop” or “wipe”.

But here’s the thing: what use is a low-flush toilet if you have to flush twice as often. The total volume of water used flushing twice is about the same as one flush using the old toilets. I’m all for conserving when practical but this seems self-defeating.