My Way or the Highway

Tomorrow we go to the polls here in Illinois. Here are my highly anticipated and very influential endorsements:

Barack Obama

Jim McConoughey (aka Not Aaron Schock)

Obviously there is no way you can vote for both of these people since they belong to different parties. And if you don’t live in the 18th Congressional District, you can’t vote for McConoughey at all. Depending on which ballot you take, I command you to vote for one of these guys. Stand by for further instructions.